Real men cry in 'What Doesn't Kill You'

The emotion in the room was palatable even before actor Mark Ruffalo was moved to tears when discussing the emotional and weighty experience of bringing his friend’s story to life in What Doesn’t Kill You, fellow actor, and former drug addict, Brian Goodman’s directorial debut, premiering at TIFF.

Previously, and rather aptly, titled Real Men Cry, Goodman’s real-life tale of hustling on the streets, landing in jail, suffering through a cocaine addiction and coming out the other side, is told in unromanticized, and often gripping, detail with mature, nuanced work by Ethan Hawke, as partner in crime and best friend Paulie, and Amanda Peet as Brian’s put-upon wife.

During the film’s press conference, Ruffalo explained that working alongside a man he’s known for almost a decade, and watching him relive these personal tragedies, allowed him to empathize with those struggling to overcome similar issues.

“Why it’s so moving to me is that there’s a young boy in South Boston who doesn’t have any chances, economic or education chances, or luck, and he has something to offer the world but he doesn’t have any avenues to get to it,” he said, between shaky breaths.

“To know Brian like I do…there’s a human being underneath. To tell that story today is a huge responsibility and to see what it means to him. There were moments where I was completely bowled over by the immense pain...”

Goodman himself acknowledged the cathartic aspect of filming this very personal story and revealed that it allowed him a new perspective.

“It was therapeutic. And for the first time, I got to see it from [my wife’s] point of view. I couldn’t even yell ‘cut’ during one scene. What a roller coaster.”

All of the actors expressed a serious commitment to properly telling the redemptive tale of one man trying to get his life back on track and jumped at the chance to work within an accomplished team.

“I really loved the story that was on the page and I didn’t know the back story,” said Peet. “To be in the company of the likes of these gentlemen, they’re masterful actors – and it’s like you’re 'held'. If I went too far left or too far right, Brian would steer me back. It could have been a boys’ club but I felt very included.”

Numerous films set in South Boston have centered on one man who loses his family, friends and freedom for a quick cash grab, but rarely do these movies investigate the struggle inherent in trying to re-enter society while balancing the duties of being a good father and husband making honest money for maybe the first time. Goodman reveals he had a specific message in mind with his first film.

“I used to try to fill that hole I had in my heart with money. I made a lot of money on the streets but I wanted to send a message that crime doesn’t pay. [Crime] is not all South Boston is about, it just happens to be where I’m from.”

The movie’s heart rests with the brotherly connection between Paulie and Brian, and the mutual respect and admiration on display between the actors during the press conference speaks to the honesty of their respective portrayals.

“This movie is about friendship,” offered Hawke. “And Mark is the first new friend I've made in a long time. A friend is someone who watches your back, someone to call about your good news. Brian always had our backs and that to me is the definition of friendship."

Reliving his darkest days not only allowed Goodman to confront past issues and gain perspective, he also gained something rare within the smoke and mirrors world of Hollywood.

"This is a dream come true. To walk through the minefields of cocaine addiction...this isn't some L.A. bullsh*t – I really love these guys."

What Doesn't Kill You screens Friday, September 12 at the Scotiabank Theatre and Saturday, September 13 at the Ryerson Theatre as part of the Toronto International Film Festival.